she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
