the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
