They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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