pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
