so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Are my feet made of real feet?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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