She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
