He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
