This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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