break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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