is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
