Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize