i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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