Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
