Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize