My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
