I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
