Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
