you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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