He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
