I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
