i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
