do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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