i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
