how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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