I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
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Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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