grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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