maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize