its not stalking. its research.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
