The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize