Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
