Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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