your thong is hanging out like whoa
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I fill condoms, not promises.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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