No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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