is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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