how can u be prego again
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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