He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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