Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
