C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize