at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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