The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
