no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
