You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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