I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
