Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
