i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize