Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
