whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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