normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
there is glitter all over my balls
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