is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I did not marry a roomba.
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