i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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