remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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