you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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