Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
