Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth