Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...

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(619): So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way... http://tfl.nu/ma03

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

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(724): If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground. (724): Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday. http://tfl.nu/bc8e

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(434): View more from Virginia

KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.

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(434): KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS. http://tfl.nu/51z5

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(650): View more from California

i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.

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(650): i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family. http://tfl.nu/mjvo

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(512): View more from Texas

I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'

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(512): I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood' http://tfl.nu/xp6j

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(432): View more from Texas

To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway

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(432): To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway http://tfl.nu/h9fr

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(907): View more from Alaska

HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

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(907): HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?! http://tfl.nu/krsv

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(512): View more from Texas

Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...

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(512): Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation... http://tfl.nu/vkji

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.

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(803): I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/ijqd

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(540): View more from Virginia

I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....

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(540): I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name.... http://tfl.nu/37ao

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(646): View more from New York

still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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(646): still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious http://tfl.nu/u252

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(574): View more from Indiana

It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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(574): It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me http://tfl.nu/pd5w

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.

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(218): No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating. http://tfl.nu/5a1l

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(925): View more from California

My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage

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(925): My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage http://tfl.nu/o4i9

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(765): View more from Indiana

So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

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(765): So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor. http://tfl.nu/2e0y

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