Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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