Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize