Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
