Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
