So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Buhtt sex?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
