I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
