? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
