Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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