I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize