i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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