I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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