who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
