Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dignity is for republicans.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
