I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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